I don’t think Bigfoot just wears nothing. That wouldn’t make any sense.

It gets cold here. Like, not just winter cold. Even in the summer, if you go outside in the morning, your hands get cold for no reason. My dad always says, “You should’ve brought a hoodie,” and he’s always right, which is annoying.

So Bigfoot definitely has a hoodie. Probably a really soft one. Not a scratchy one. Because if you lived outside all the time, you wouldn’t want something itchy. And it would have to be warm, because he’s probably out there early, before the sun comes up, drinking coffee or whatever Bigfoot drinks.

He probably drinks coffee.

Also, he walks a lot.
Like, a LOT a lot.

And the trails here have rocks and sticks and those pokey plants that grab your pants. And he wouldn’t wear jeans. That would be a terrible idea. They’re really stiff, and if they get wet, they never dry, and then he would just have wet hairy legs that won’t dry. He probably wears those soft pants that don’t make noise when you walk. Because if you’re Bigfoot, you don’t want to go swish swish swish through the forest. That would ruin everything.

In the middle of the day, it actually gets kind of hot. Like, you think it’s going to be cold, and then suddenly you’re sweating and carrying your jacket. So Bigfoot probably takes off his hoodie and just wears something lighter. Maybe a t-shirt. Or maybe just his fur is enough, I don’t know. But if he had a shirt, it would have to be one you don’t notice. Like the kind you forget you’re wearing. Because if you’re always adjusting your clothes, you’re not paying attention to the forest. And Bigfoot definitely pays attention.

At night it gets cold again. Super fast. Like the sun just leaves and takes all the warmth with it. So that’s when the hoodie comes back. And probably a beanie too, because your ears get cold first and it’s the worst. I learned that the hard way. Bigfoot probably already knows that.

Also, I think he has pajamas. Because even if you’re Bigfoot, you still have to go to sleep. And if you’re going to sleep outside, you’d want something really comfortable. Not stiff. Not tight. Just soft. Like the kind of thing you could sit by a fire in and not think about at all.

So yeah.
That’s what I think Bigfoot wears.

Not because he’s trying to look cool or anything.
Just because he lives here.

And if you live in Estes Park long enough, you figure it out.
Even if you’re Bigfoot.